English:  Well guys! we've made it to Japan so as to begin our promotional tour of Volume One, 'Surviving The Martial Arts In Daily Life'. We did hit the USA but couldn't understand a word they said. Anyway you can tell by the rip-roaring reception here that they are ecstatic to see us. At the very least you'd think one of the buggers would turn round and say hello!

English:   That's the trouble with package deals, you can never guarantee the accommodation. True its not particularly spacious, but airy with nice views. I think their beginning to warm to us.

English:   So its out onto the streets of Sagamihara Kanagawa......we think?

Well we're somewhere in Japan to promote the book and hire some sales staff. That is once we get someone to interpret these directions our guide left us on this wall. Very funny ha ha.....git!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Looks like we hit town just in time if this is the best they can do. 'Zoizumi' who? Means nothing to me John! Now this will make a much better poster.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   The book signing at the local shop didn't exactly go down a storm. We were only visited by a ghostly apparition in the window. Nice of it to make an appearance really. Still never say die, if you pardon the pun!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   These two looked a right pair, I mean a likely pair. Could be onto a winner here.

Japanese:   "Please to borrow book! I hold up in front of friends ree'diculously stupid hat. She think it look w'earlly cool, but me think it look more like knackered wok....no!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Apparently his workmates call him smiler due to his happy-go-lucky, cheery disposition. Yes......well, perhaps a hint of irony detected there!

Japanese:   "Just take bloody picture. cement standing in going very hard!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Ah! professional help at last. She is actually what we would call a 'soap' actress. A sort of a Japanese version of Eastenders, only not as tall.

Japanese:   "I smile because I'm a professional actress but used to much better work then this. So take damn picture, pay me, and go away!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   'Its time to hire the 'A' Team'. Cue music, or hum it if your old enough to remember the theme tune. That should depress thousands of you.

Japanese:   "We love book, but guys really hate cheap tacky western T-shirts that you make them wear. They feel they been tangoed!"

 

 

 

 

 

English:   So much for the 'A' Team, more like Zzzzz team. Next stop club land! Time to dig out the old white jacket and dangerously high platform shoes.

Japanese:   "Who left this book on my 'decks' man! Have you seen picture of his boyfriend, he always whipping it out. So embarrassing!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Its got nothing to do with her great boobs, I just happen to think the book looks better held up like this. That's all, honest!

Japanese:   "Why hold book so high. Pervert with bike keep staring at my boobies!"

 

 

 

English:   This place could do with a bit of a laugh. More of a grin then a chuckle here, but I suppose its a start.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Time to sample the local cuisine and get a few opinions and promotional shots. The book went down well at the 'Bento' bar, which was more than could be said for the food. What maniac eats raw fish anyway, I'm off for a healthy greasy hamburger.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Now that's what I call real help! Ok girls don't fight over the book, your both most definitely hired. Come on guys, I mean who wouldn't! Apart from the chap in the nightclub with the picture of his boyfriend of course. Still horses for courses.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   The other girl wasn't quite so keen on my advertising idea. Pity really!

Japanese:   "Me not falling for ' hold book above head qobblers! ' in front of boobs will do nicely thank you".

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

English:   Finally at the end of a long day we end up at a favourite destination for both tourists and locals alike. You guessed it, the little 'cafe' above the sex shop. Not that we noticed the shop!.

Japanese:   "My arm killing me, your friend nipped into shop for change. Take two minute he say, that two hour ago and I'm sure I see pervert with bike go in. Wearly fed up now with whole thing, stick book where imperial rising sun never shine!